Resilience.
This word has come to me over and over again since the beginning of the pandemic and all of the shit storm since then, and so I want to remind you too.It’s so easy to feel overwhelmed by all of the news at the moment.
Especially when we’re trapped indoors and on our devices- it looks like the whole world is coming to an end and everything is awfully awful. (Or maybe that’s just my perspective sometimes!)
From the dreaded Tier system in the UK, to social media sex censorship, to Brexit, to continued racial injustices and violence against People of Color, to whatever else is going wrong, I have to keep coming back to resilience.
I know that I have the tendency to become a Drama Queen, I fully own up to that. I can wallow in the awfulness of things, sigh loudly, inwardly moan and groan, and feel sorry for myself until I notice what’s happening.
The problem is, this has never helped me. It got to a point where I was fed up with feeling this way because it wasn’t helping me and was making me feel helpless. I knew that I had to protect my energetic container and focus on positive things, but sometimes it just felt out of alignment and like I was trying to sprinkle glitter over a poop (I got that analogy from a friend, Laura Beddoe!)
So what would help?
Enter the world of YouTube Ted Talks, podcasts, and newsletters!
This YouTube video helped change my perspective: The Three Secrets of Resilient People.
Because humans are incredibly resilient.
We have had to be, otherwise, we would have become extinct long ago.
In the history of humankind, humans have always recovered and bounced back differently. From things that happen on a large scale, like wars, famine, plague, and natural disasters.
To the things that happen personally like bereavement, bankruptcy, illness, accidents, miscarriage, divorce, or rows with the neighbours.
The world may shift- in fact, it is inevitable because the only constant in life is change- and you can adapt. You have your own story of pain and resilience when your world fell apart, and you had to rebuild again because it was either sink or swim.
Can you hold onto that? That you are innately wired to adapt and survive because you are a human being?
This is the first step in coming out of feeling overwhelmed and helpless.
Then think about what you can do that is actionable and doable. From a trauma theory and nervous system perspective, focusing on what action you can do helps take you out of the feeling of helplessness (freeze, dorsal vagal), and into sympathetic again.
Here are some suggestions for you to think about to build your resilience and capability:
1. How can you trust in your own abilities and capacity just a little bit more? Where do you feel it in your body? Now can you grow it some more?
2. What can you do that will help you feel more in control? What small and doable things can you do to take care of yourself, your finances, your family, your mental and emotional health, and your relationship/s?
3. What noise do you need to shut out so you don’t get overwhelmed? Do you need to limit your social media? Do you need to limit the news you watch? What boundaries can you put in place for that?
4. What can you celebrate and send appreciation for? What have you learned? What amazing things happened? What has gone right against all odds?
Trust in your magic and capabilities. Trust in yourself. Learn to feel safe in the trusting again.
I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you.Don’t forget you can get your copy of Re-Kindle The Sexy Spark in Your Relationship e-book for free for a limited time too!⠀
All my love
Lucy
Lucy Rowett, CSC – Pronouns: She/Her/Her