Tantra connects heart and sex
If you’re reading this, I’m guessing you may be a little fed up of the same old routine in bed. Or maybe you’ve heard of Tantra and want to give it a try? You know that sex should be more than fumbling around in the dark or bumping genitals together and you want MORE. You want to find a way of being sexual that connects your heart to your sexuality.
First off, if this is you, you’re not alone. It’s very common for many people that they can’t really open up and feel sexual without feeling an emotional connection.
If this is you, then I want to tell you that there’s nothing “wrong” with you!
Conscious sexuality is knowing that sex doesn’t just happen in the genitals, it happens with the whole of you: your Mind, Body, Emotions, Energy and Spirit.
My background is in Tantra, and I like to bring Tantric techniques into my client work. And if you thought that Tantric sex is about having sex for hours at a time? Think again!
I’m going to teach you some simple techniques to bring your heart into the bedroom: connecting sex to spirit. They’re easy, don’t take a lot of effort and can be done with your clothes on (you can take your clothes off if you get in the mood.)
What’s more, there’s no chanting involved, you don’t need to put a bindi on your forehead and you don’t need burn any incense either (unless you want to, of course).
The beautiful images in this blog post are courtesy of Veronica Blanco, an artist based in Toronto, Canada. Click on each image to view them on her website, and if you buy any of her art tell her I sent you!
1) Womb heart breathing
Feeling Tantric actually starts before you go to bed with your partner. You need to be able to practice by yourself first, and get connected to your body.
This exercise is womb/heart connecting. To start, find somewhere quiet and comfortable to sit. Once you get better at this, you can practice this anywhere.
Here’s how:
Take some deep breaths in through your nose and sighing out through your mouth.
Place your hands over your womb and tune into feeling the sensations there.
Then place one hand over your heart, and breathe for a few minutes.
Feel the energy running between your hands over your heart and womb.
Notice any sensations: perhaps a warmth, a fluttering, or even a pulsing. What does this connection feel like?
You may start to notice that you feel a warm and tingly sensation.
2) Breathing through your genitals
Another breath exercise: I guarantee it will make you feel super yummy!
Here’s how:
Start by taking a few deep breaths in and out.
Then imagine that you are sucking air up through your genitals.
Seriously, imagine that there is a third lung and breathe in and up.
Pull the breath up to your heart and imagine breathing out through the heart.
Let out a sigh.
Do this a few times, focusing on drawing the energy up and out.
When you finish, place your hands over your heart and over your sacral chakra.
3) Bring it into your yoga practice
Did you know that you can bring your yoga practice to your sexuality too? Yoga is a great tool for opening your heart, so it makes sense you can then connect to your sexuality too.
Here’s how:
When you’re doing any exercises that focus on the heart, bring your focus down to your sacral chakra too.
As you’re breathing, focus on feeling the connection between your pelvic floor and your heart.
4) Hands over heart and breathe
Here’s how:
Sit opposite your partner on the bed with legs crossed. You can also lie facing each other- whatever is most comfortable for you.
Put one hand over your heart and the other over theirs. Imaging that you are beaming love and positive energy from your heart, out through your arms and into theirs.
Breathe and enjoy!
5) Tantric Eye gazing
When you make love, do you look into your partner’s eyes? This is actually an old Tantric technique that’s simple, yet effective.
Here’s how:
Either sit in front on each other or lie side by side.
Look into each other’s eyes, and imagine you are looking deep into their soul.
You’re looking at their past, any hurts they’ve experienced, the joy, the pleasure.
Keep breathing and gazing.
6) Start on the body
Now you can take it a step further!
During sex, we can get preoccupied with genital stimulation so we forget that we can feel good in our whole body.
For many women, it will take at least 15-20 minutes of love play to become fully aroused. Minimum.
If you’re used to sex being over before you’ve really gotten started, you’re not alone.
When we focus on the whole body before focusing on the genitals, we can bring a whole-hearted and whole-bodied experience to sex.
Here’s how:
Explore gentle touch, strokes and caressing around the whole body.
Imagine there is energy coming out of your finger tips and flowing to your partner.
Try trailing energy patterns on your partner’s body.
Notice where you’re most sensitive. You’ll be surprised that some parts of your body feel super yummy– like the inside of your wrists, the back of your knees and your waist.
All of these techniques are really easy and I promise, will feel delicious. So you see, bringing your heart into your love play is pretty simple.
Now it’s your turn! Give these exercises a try and tell me how they went in the comments below.
And if you enjoyed this article, please share it on social media!
Work with me
Book a free 20 minute call with me and we can explore how you can bring more heart and pleasure into your sex life.
Lucy Rowett, CSC – Pronouns: She/Her/Her