
Do you identify as somebody who always does the “right” thing?
Maybe you’re a coach, therapist, or practitioner yourself where it’s your job to do good shit to help your clients.
You do aaallll the crystals, Reiki, tapping, lightwork, the lot.
Or maybe you came from a Faith background where the emphasis was on being Good?
Or maybe you’ve just done years in therapy and personal development, and you have done lots of “THE WORK” on all your trauma and unhealthy patterns of codependent yuckyness, and now you want to have a “healthy” relationship and sex life?
Teehee! I’m rubbing my hands with glee because I’m about to share some gold with you.
One of my favorite aspects of my work as a sexologist (of the very, very many things) is debunking myths about sex.
And my even more favorite part of that?
Debunking myths and biases around our sexual taboos so that they don’t seem so scary and terrible.
And the favouritest favouritest part of that bit?
Helping reformed Good Girls and people to embrace their freaky sexual shadow and alchemize it.
Teeheeeheeee!
Here’s why- and this is a reformed Good Christian Girl AND Good Spiritual Healer speaking here
Humans are not all love and light, baby.
And that includes our sexual subconscious.
Trying to be “Good”- or in spiritual language, “conscious”, “high vibe”, or “Sovereign5DQuantumblah” means that you are inevitably cutting off some of your humanness, and your pleasure.
Your messy, shadowy, murky, freaky, humanness.
Otherwise known as your shadow.
Because while sex can come in so many different flavors and all can be delicious, the secret sauce to hootttttt passion and desire is often found in doing what feels naughty.
AND THAT IS OK AND HUMAN SO PLEASE STOP TRYING TO BE A SAINT
Hence why for many conscious and spiritual folk AND people of Faith, when you start having “dark” fantasies or desires that are definitely NOT loving- it can really freak you out.
Some therapists, pastors, and practitioners will say it’s all a trauma response and you have more childhood shit to heal- and while that that absolutely be present- I still disagree on this pathologizing approach of making literally everything about childhood trauma.
Because the BDSM and Kink community has long known that when you fully and intentionally embrace your sexual and erotic shadow, you become more integrated as a human.
Of course, shadowy stuff plays out in the BDSM and Kink community too- as it does in every single community. That’s the thing about the human shadow- you can’t escape it, all you can do is keep becoming aware of it.
And it’s thanks to friends and colleagues I have like Seani Love, Wilrieke Sophia, Celina Criss, Selwyn Warren, Divine Theratrix, Nwachi Tafari… the list goes on… that I know first hand that BDSM and kink can be powerful healing tools.
No, it doesn’t mean you have to be into everything or like everything- having boundaries is a healthy part of being a human! But you can play with your edges, bounce your boundaries, and maybe discover a new part of yourself.
Want to go deeper into exploring your sexual shadow for more pleasure? I have 2 delicious offerings for you.
1. ARTICLE: How to Safely Explore Your Shadow Side
Have you ever been fascinated by the taboo? Do you get turned on by the forbidden? Have you wanted to play with the edges- but don’t know where to start?
My bestie Gigi Engle- who is a fab journalist- quoted me in this piece for Feeld.
2. COURSE: Getting Conscious With Kink, with Seani Love, Sonalle Mariposa, Ria Hope, AJ England, and Sanya Alaya.
Are you curious about Conscious Kink and BDSM?
Are you ready to expand your understanding of erotic expression?
Would you love to deepen trust, connection, communication, and erotic creativity in your intimate relationships?
Then this breathtaking journey into the wonderfully erotic world of Conscious Kink is an amazing starting point!
It is around £150 (priced in Euros) but when you quote the code JUICEANDJASMINE at the checkout, you get 20% off.
Just so you know, this is an affiliate link and I earn a small amount of commission for every purchase. I only promote people, products, and organizations I genuinely rate and would recommend to my clients.
To your blissful, sexy, and kinky adventures!
Love,
Lucy xox
P.S. Are you a woman or nonbinary person who is so damn ready to shed the shackles of sexual shame and have the glorious pleasurable sex you really want? Do you want to claim 2022 as your SEXY year? I have 2 spaces left for brave, beautiful souls to work with me 1:1.
If this is you, fill out this application form here.
I’ll get back to you within 48 hours, and if we’re the right fit, we’ll book a call.
Lucy Rowett, CSC – Pronouns: She/Her/Her