Does your body feel like your home?
In The Shameless Woman program, the foundation of it- or Module 1- is how to create safety in your body and set boundaries.
Why?
Because not only is safety the bottom of the Maslow hierarchy of needs- but it isn’t often addressed openly in a lot of therapeutic or coaching work, or even some sexuality work.
Safety.
Not just physical safety. But emotional safety, feeling safe in your body, and safe to express your boundaries and have them be heard.
For many people- especially for womxn- this basic need has often been overridden in what I call, “Boundary Violations”.
From the first time that creepy uncle made an inappropriate comment, to kissing that boy because he wouldn’t leave you alone, to partner’s continuing even when you asked them to stop, to just having sex with someone to be polite, to invasive medical procedures, and more.
Then add in the unsolicited commentary on womxn’s bodies- from the tabloids, social media, to the well meaning family member who says, “You could do with losing a few pounds”, or, “You’re breasts are tiny!”.
It’s all given you this underlying message that not only will your needs not be honoured, but that your body isn’t actually yours anyway.
Does this sound familiar to you?
If you’ve never felt really at home in your body, that you can say, “no”, that your, “no” will be heard, and that you need to change your body constantly through dieting or exercise…
… it’s no surprise to me that you find the whole sex and intimacy thing a headfuck!
So remember this, it is yours and yours first.
Your body is your home.
You choose who you share it with.
You choose who enters, and when they should leave.
If you’ve ever felt weird or creeped out when doing sexuality work before, maybe it was because you didn’t feel a level of safety there.
In my opinion, learning the basics of body safety is a must before going deeper into pleasure and orgasms- even if it’s just for a few minutes.
It’s something I wish I had had more of when I first started exploring mine, and I wish that I had had the tools to speak up when I felt a boundary being crossed.
Does this sound good to you?
Then I know you’ll love The Shameless Woman program, we start on February 3rd for 12 weeks.
Or you can email me at lucy@lucyrowett.com and we can book a call and see if it’s right for you. If it’s not right for you at the moment, I’ll happily point you to some helpful resources instead.
Oodles of love,
Lucy
Lucy Rowett, CSC – Pronouns: She/Her/Her