When You Can’t Bear To Look At Your Body (A Post on Body Shame)
Are you hiding your body?
I know you are.
There are certain clothes you won’t wear. Tops that look, “too much”. Colours you refuse to wear because they either make you stand out too much, or don’t work on you.
I know because I’ve met so many people like you- personally and professionally.
I’ve worked with people of all body types who all feel a crippling shame around their bodies.
Whether you’re carrying extra llbs, can’t shake off the baby fat, put on weight due to medication or illness, lost weight in all the wrong places, scars, stretchmarks, surgeries, birthmarks, whatever.
Every day you carry a secret shame that there is something inherently wrong with you and your body.
Does this sound familiar?
You can’t even bear to look at your body in some ways because it would remind you of everything that is wrong with it.
Or maybe you just don’t want any kind of attention, so you shrivel and shrink, covering yourself with excess clothes.
Maybe your family or culture told you to cover everything up because to reveal one inch of flesh would be a slippery slope down to hell?
Or that it would bring dishonour on your family?
Now, you’ve probably squashed it down. Gotten used to it. Decided just to crack on and get on with life, because you’ve got more important things to do than worry about your bum,
You don’t make a living off of looking sexy.
Except, I KNOW the sadness that you’re carrying.
I know the revulsion you feel, even when you try and convince everyone that you don’t.
And I feel your deep pain that you don’t feel worthy of feeling good at all.
You compare yourself to people online who have “perfect” bodies.
Or you hide your body because you don’t want other women/men to be jealous and try and put you down.
Can you see how nobody wins?
Give me a person who bitches and judges somebody else’s body, and I’ll show you a person who is deeply insecure, is afraid and feels not good enough themselves.
So let’s f*ck that, shall we?
In my house (and in my work), there is ZERO body shaming allowed of anybody, ever, in the whole world, ever.
I do my own work to notice every time I judge somebody else’s body– because that means I’m judging myself.
Why don’t you try the same?
Commit to ONLY saying how fabulous somebody looks.
Commit to complimenting others at least twice a day (within what is appropriate and how well you know them)
If you’re a woman, affirm as many women as you can on how gorgeous they look– because you never know what she is carrying.
Compliment her clothes, her makeup, affirm how gorgeous her bum is (depending on the relationship you have with her).
And please, affirm the men in your life too!
How often do you genuinely complement your partner/boyfriend/husband/son/nephew/grandson?
Yes, that means your male partner/s if you have them.
It doesn’t have to be over the top, but I guarantee a steady stream of *genuine* (from the heart) compliments/affirmations will boost his self-esteem no end.
What do you think?
What compliments and affirmations about your body would you love to hear? I’d love to hear them.