What To Tell Your Partner If They Don’t Like Sex Toys

“I love my vibrator, but my partner really doesn’t like me using them”

“My husband thinks I shouldn’t need a vibrator because he should be enough for me”

“My partner is worried about us trying sex toys because she says they aren’t natural”

What do you do if your partner doesn’t like sex toys or vibrators, or feels uncomfortable about you using them?

Don’t panic, this is the answer I always give to people worried about this apparent intruder in the bedroom, and how to turn it into your trusted ally instead.

It’s often men in heterosexual relationships that feel uncomfortable about sex toys, but women can feel this too.

The most common reasons they give are:

1. They aren’t, “natural”
2. That you should be able to do everything with just your hand, tongue, penis, or vagina
3. That their partner will end up preferring a toy over them

To all of these reasons, I have one answer:

We use machines to make our lives easier and more pleasurable all the time, so why not with sex and pleasure too?

Humans have always come up with new technology, whether it’s to save time, energy, money, to make something easier, or just because you can and it’s fun.

What machines and technology do you use in your life instead of doing things by hand?

Think about it and make a list.

• Do you use a blender to make your smoothies, or do you mash it all by hand?
• Do you use an electric whisk to make cake, or do you whip by hand?
• Do you use an electric lawnmower or a manual one?
• A shower or buckets of water?
• A TV or boardgames?
• A sewing machine or hand stitching?
• A car or a bicycle?
• An electric razor or manual razor?
• Power tools or hand tools?
• An espresso machine or manual cafetiere?
• An electric kettle or boiling water in a pan?
• Airconditioning or opening the windows and waving around a piece of cardboard to stay cool?
• A fancy cooking device like an AirFryer, Thermomix, or Instant Pot that does all in one, or making everything by hand, with multiple pots, pans, and washing up?
• A washing machine or handwashing?

You already use a lot of technology in your life, none of which could be considered, “natural”, or necessarily “better” than doing them by hand.

However, none of these options is worse or “less than”. Using technology or machinery is not always superior than doing things by hand.

It can be incredibly satisfying to do things by hand sometimes. Personally, I love walks, boardgames, campfires, and hand stitching. I like cooking and baking, and I love turning off my electronics from time to time. Sometimes it’s really helpful to take a break from electronics and “get back to basics”.

But doesn’t it feel easier to know that there is always the option? You know that technology is there when you need it.

Watching TV, driving a car, using power tools, or using a fancy pants device like a Thermomix can open up all sorts of delightful possibilities. Flying in an airplane means you can get to lots of wonderful destinations in less time and hassle than going by land (and even if you did go by land, you would most likely go by another form of technology too.)

Now substitute that for sex toys.

You can always use your hands, fingers, tongue, mouth, and other delightful body parts whenever you want to.

AND you can add in whatever toys excite you to enhance your experience together, or bring something new into your sexy adventures.

This is why I am so excited to be partnering with a company called PleasyPlay.

Pleasy Play is a monthly subscription box for couples, where every other month you receive a box with high quality products, along with sexy challenges for each other to get the most out of the box. Your box is personalized to you, and you can also download the app with more challenges and questions.

It costs £29.90 per month, with free shipping and discreet packaging.

And you get get 15% off your first 2 months when you enter the code LUCY15 at the checkout.

Does your partner still feel weird about sex toys? Show them this! And if your partner used to feel uncomfortable, what helped change their mind? Tell me in the comments below.

LET’S STAY IN TOUCH

Want specialized support to embrace pleasure, your authentic sexual self, and releasing sexual shame to create connected relationships? Learn more about how you can work with me here.

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