how to have a happy relationship

11 Ways to Make Your Relationship Happier

We all want our relationships to be happy, don’t we? There’s no hell like being in a relationship that is unhappy, but what actually makes a happy relationship? What does a happy relationship feel like? And can you start making your relationship happier again? 

Yes, you can!

I asked members of The Liberated Collective what they think makes an epic, happy relationship and this is how one woman responded:

“Total honesty, deep respect, abundant listening and sharing and co-created, passionate adventures!”

Everyone and every relationship is different. A happy relationship isn’t about how many times per week you have sex or for how long. It’s not about having everything in common and doing everything together. It’s not never fighting and always being happy. It’s not about always feeling butterflies and feeling super connected 100% of the time. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to share the same space all the time either. 

So what exactly makes a happy relationship? In short, it’s all about intimacy. You can read my post about how to build more intimacy in your relationship here.

Here’s some examples of what a happy relationship has:

  • Mutual respect
  • Open communication and clearly asking for what you want
  • Talking openly about sex and your needs and desires
  • Fights are clean and avoid getting nasty
  • You feel able to be yourself with your partner
  • You can giggle together and share a sense of humour
  • You maintain your relationships with your friends and family
  • Supporting each other’s goals and desires
  • A shared set of values
  • You trust each other
  • Taking time to listen to each other

What that looks like and feels like is different for everyone, so you need to find what works for you. 

There are many ways you can make your relationship happier and more connected, here are my 11 best practices:

  1. Find out what you want first. Know what your values are and what you really want in order to be loved, because how can your partner know if you don’t?
  2. Don’t expect your partner to meet your every single need. It’s impossible to expect your partner to fulfill every one of your physical, emotional, social, sexual, and spiritual needs because they are only one person! Make sure you have a good social circle around you and be proactive about taking care of yourself so that you’re not looking to your partner to “complete” you. 
  3. Keep laughing. How can you and your partner find time to have more fun? Laughter can help us to bond, so find more things that will make you both giggle. 
  4. Talk about sex outside of the bedroom! This is so important because it will set you up for a lifetime of sexual fulfillment. Really know your body and what brings you pleasure, and learn how to feel less embarrassed to talk about it openly with your partner. If this is a struggle, ask for help! 
  5. Build your partner up. How often do you praise your partner and tell them how much you appreciate them? Do you regularly compliment them and tell them how you love how kind/generous/gorgeous/sexy/wonderful/funny they are? We all need to feel loved and be reminded of our awesome-ness from time to time. 
  6. Find out yours and your partner’s love languages. Because I bet they are probably different and you feel like you’re missing the mark. How could you surprise and delight your partner in a way that would make them feel loved? Do it more!
  7. Listen, really listen. Take time to really empathize and understand what your partner is saying. Slow down, relax, open your heart and try to step into their world. When you feel you are fighting about the same thing all the time, you need to find out where the pain is underneath and listen to what they are actually saying. 
  8. Make quality time for each other and keep it. Life gets busy and it’s so easy to stop prioritizing quality time together, but it’s so important. 
  9. Start touching again. It’s so easy to get used to each other and revert to only touching for sex, and then feel resentful if one partner doesn’t want to. So start practicing affectionate and loving again. Hold hands when you go out, have a long cuddle on the sofa, spoon in bed while watching a series, give them a foot rub or a head massage. 
  10. Use “I” statements when you feel upset. If you feel yourself feeling frustrated and angry at your partner, it’s so easy to point the finger and blame them for literally everything. By reframing your hurts into “I” statements, for example, “I feel really hurt when you walk away from me when I’m talking”. 
  11. Create a sexual bucket list. If you feel like you’re in a sexual rut, a really fun exercise you can do with your partner is to create separate sexual bucket lists! Then compare them, and see what ones you can do together. When you join The Liberated Collective, you’ll get access to my PDF, “Red, Amber, Green” to explore what you want and don’t want sexually.

I believe it’s completely possible to transform relationships to be epic, connected, deeply intimate, and full of sparkle and juiciness. 

I’m passionate about helping sexually shy women to release shame, embrace pleasure, and find out what they really want to create epic relationships. If you’d like to find out how I can help you, find out about my private coaching programs for women here.

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