From one freshly postpartum mum of 6 months, to another. Here are my best orgasm and female sexual pleasure tips for new mums and when you’re postpartum.
1. Lube is not optional 💧
Are you feeding your little truffle piglet with your tits? You’re probably going to be dry as a desert. In fact, the hormone fuckery postpartum can dry you up faster than Elon Musk dancing on a stage.
My love, lube and regular vaginal moisturiser aren’t a “nice to have”, they’re a non negotiable.
Use that shit liberally with no “shoulding” yourself.
If this persists, consider asking your gynecologist or GP about vaginal estrogen. Breastfeeding suppresses oestrogen and progesterone production, which over time can lead to thinning of the vaginal walls and all sorts of problems like painful sex, recurring UTIs, vaginal pain, or other pelvic issues further down the line. Don’t ignore it, get help now.
2. Stop actually trying to orgasm in the first place
You know your body has changed, but you may not know your arousal patterns might have changed too. It might feel slower, more subtle, sensation might be heightened or dulled. Especially if you had tearing, prolapse, or a difficult birth.
So, take your damn time and focus on feeling pleasurable sensations instead of trying to orgasm.
Ride the wave of how your ar0usal is right now. In fact, you can stop trying to have an orgasm at all and instead get to know your erotic body now.
3. Self pleasure reminds you that you're still a sexual being as well as a mother
Maybe you’re already in the mood or maybe the mere thought of touching your lady bits for funsies feels like far too much effort when you’d much rather sleep (and I’ve definitely been there too), but consider this: Self pleasure can be exquisite self care.
It reminds you that while you’ve also done the miraculous super human work of bringing a new soul to earth, you’re also still you. And you’re absolutely an erotic being as well as a mother. One doesn’t cancel the other.
4. Vibrators are your friend, they aren't cheating or addictive
This is your regular PSA that vibrators are not “addictive” nor are they “cheating.”
They can often get the job done quicker and with less effort– so when you have no idea if your baby’s nap will last 10 minutes or 2 hours- you can officially throw out the rulebook from conscious sexuality that you should always take a loooooong time. Use modern tools to your full advantage.
Vibrators and sex toys are your friend, use them with full enjoyment and zero guilt.
5. Treat your vagina like your best friend and ally
This is my most unhinged tip. It’s real ninja shit if you can keep this mindset for life, not just postpartum.
Treat your vulva and vagina as a beloved friend who’s just had a really tough time recently. Even if you had a c-section birth.
From hormonal changes, the constant vaginal exams, tearing, episiotomy, bleeding, stitches, and more. Your vagina needs some TLC, and quite frankly, a celebration for all the work they’ve done.
It might look different externally, feel different, smell different, or feel not quite like yours yet. Your self pleasure practice could be simply a nourishing vulvar massage with a simple oil.
Stop putting pressure on yourself and your vagina to “perform” if you’re still healing.
Which one resonated with you the most? Which one will you try first?
Let's go deeper
Ready to start moving from feeling numb and shutdown to actually feeling pleasure during sex? It’s time to go back to foundations and actually connect with your vulva again. Because when you start to learn to FEEL what’s there– including nothingness, tingles, or even sadness– that’s the doorway to feeling pleasure too.
Claim your free guided practice to connect to your vulva and heart to build the foundation of connection with yourself.
It's time you had an orgasm too
Whether it’s your first orgasm, you want more consistent and reliable orgasms, or you just know you’re capable of so much more pleasure but you’re stuck going round your head in circles, Orgasmic Liberation is the course for you.
It’s a no spiritual jargon, simple and easy to understand step by step course on how orgasms work and then practical exercises to DO to actually have them. Guilt free.
Stop getting frustrated and start cumming. Again and again
Lucy Rowett, CSC – Pronouns: She/Her/Her