
Want to know one of my biggest lessons from 2022?
An all-in-one, from life, health, business, relationships?
It could have saved me a fortune in self help books and courses. (JOKE, I’ll still be buying them anyway
)
It came to me a few weeks ago on a walk by the Donau canal, here in Vienna, and it applies to everything my clients are processing too.
Let’s just say I think you could take this nugget and apply it to your sexuality, dating experience, your relationship or marriage, life choices, and health.
Settle in, grab a cuppa, have a piece for yourself too.
Here it is, one of the biggest lessons I learned in 2022..
I was right all along. I KNEW it deep down.
That’s it ![]()
Ta-dahhh!
Basically, if you could sum up all of the therapy and coaching I’ve ever had, and you distilled the juice of it into a couple of drops.
That’s it.
I can trust myself because my felt sense, my inner knowing, that feeling was right all along.
Therapy and coaching, completed ![]()
![]()
JOKE. Dude, this stuff never ends. I’ll probably be saying the same thing next year.
From years of overriding myself, outsourcing wisdom and decisions to other people, and basically, pathologising myself.
From Evangelicalism that taught me to outsource all my decisions to God.
To not trust my heart. To think of myself as a worthless worm who is only saved by the Grace of God. To obey, to submit, to give all glory to God.
Ohhh boy.
Then in years of therapy and coaching, where I would unconsciously give power away to whoever it was I was seeing.
To personal development and spirituality where I would put people on pedestals as having, “the answer”.
To past lovers where something felt, “off”, but I didn’t have the courage to voice it, and then I learned things about them afterwards that were sketchy. (Like one man who definitely was NOT in an open relationship even though he said he was
)
To always asking other people’s opinions on things.
To generally trying to conform because this is human nature and we all do it and it’s normal.
And now?
… Over the past year, a quiet tentative place, a small seed of knowing.
A quiet voice that says I can trust myself.
I can trust that I know what I need.
I can trust those feelings of unease.
I can trust when something feels “off” to me.
And here’s a biggie that comes up with clients all the time too:
I can trust myself with decisions, even if it’s the, “wrong” one, because I can also trust that I can rectify it.
This is something that I aim to transmit to client work, in writing, in friends, family.
It’s particularly potent for people who come from Evangelicalism, religious fundamentalism, and cults, childhood trauma survivors, survivors of big intense shit, autistic/neurospicy folk, folk with chronic health funkiness, and actually, anybody who has lived on planet earth.
You ultimately know what you need.
Your body knows what she/he/they need.
You are already doing it.
You can trust it.
Even if it’s going against the grain.
You aren’t broken– sexually or otherwise.
Sure, some of the wires may have gotten scrambled and the signal gone wonky.
But that deep knowing has always been there.
I hope you can take this as encouragement too.
This is a taste of what it’s like to work with me.
If you’re a smart, soulful woman/vulva haver who wants to find your sexual voice and have a sexually empowered love life, learn more about how we can work together in 2023.
Love
Lucy x
Lucy Rowett, CSC – Pronouns: She/Her/Her