This is a love letter to all women and people with vulvas about masturbation and why I believe it will change your life.
Like most Good Christian Girls in the ’00’s, and pretty much most women before 2021, when I was a teenager, I didn’t really know much about masturbation apart from what they told me in Youth Group.
Obviously, it was bad, wrong, dangerous, and addictive, and only boys did it– which they would brag about openly EVEN at Christian camp.
The concept of girls masturbating was, at best, a joke where giving someone a dildo for her birthday was hilarious, and at worst, only what slutty girls did.
Then add in that I didn’t really know much about the clitoris or why it was so important.
When one day in the bath, I tried inserting a finger inside my vagina- I was disappointed that it didn’t really feel like anything and wondered what all the fuss was about.
Followed by a big wash of guilt that I wasn’t keeping myself “pure”, and confusion as to why I just felt so damn horny.
It wasn’t until I decided to leave the Faith, and stumbled across the world of sacred sexuality, tantra, and sex-positivity that I received the Gospel of The Clitoris.
CAN I GET AN AMEN?!
Then I learned about the late Dr. Betty Dodson- who was teaching women how to masturbate and orgasm since the 1960s, read her groundbreaking book, “Sex For One”, and also the book, “Shake Your Soul Song”, by Devi Ward, and I was officially converted.
What did YOU learn about masturbation growing up?
How do you feel about it today, as an adult?
But most importantly: Do you know exactly WHY it is so important to your sexual and erotic happiness today?
I’ll tell you.
Because it is the most effective way to not only get to know your body, but learn exactly what you like and how you like so you can better communicate with your partner, and especially know that your sexuality IS YOURS FIRST!
Not your partner or future husband’s. YOURS.
YOURS to enjoy
YOURS to express
YOURS to feel
[Read more: Why It’s NOT Your Partner’s Job To Make You Feel Sexy (And What To Do Instead)]
Betty Dodson taught that women/people with vulvas masturbating is one of the single most empowering things we can do as part of women’s liberation because it flies in the face of generations of women lying back and thinking of England.
Of women being their husband’s property, where once the ring was on your finger, your consent did not matter.
Where women are taught that sex is only for men, and you just have to put up with it to keep him happy.
Where statistically, women who have sex with men receive less oral sex and pleasuring than men do during hookups, because female sexual pleasure still isn’t a given as much as male sexual pleasure is.
When you masturbate more and actually learn about your body and sexual response cycle, where you decide over and over and over again that your sexual pleasure matters and you will
It is transgressive and yet healing because it is you deciding that you will no longer approach sex as a passive partner.
It flies in the face of generations of patriarchy and the power is literally between your legs.
Here’s another story
I used to volunteer at a youth club, where the young people that typically went were from troubled homes, and going to the youth club kept them out of trouble.
The boys would openly brag about “chadding” (a new word I had never heard of, it means fucking) and who they had “chadded”, and the girls would blush furiously.
I remember another youth worker saying to me:
“How many of these girls become mothers before ever having an orgasm?”
Let that sink in.
Of course, there is more to sex than having an orgasm. But it does mean having a partner who cares about your pleasure and where you feel empowered in your body to say “no” to what you don’t want and ask for what you do want.
I feel so strongly about this, it is hard to put into words just how bloody important learning to masturbate and pleasure yourself is so intrinsically tied into women’s liberation, gender equality, AND having a fulfilling and juicy sex life.
WAHAY!
If you’re nodding your head to this, then read on.
I am so excited to introduce this self-paced digital course on self-pleasuring and orgasms for women and people with vulvas:
Orgasmic Liberation
Self-Pleasuring For Empowerment, Radical Pleasure, and Sexual Liberation For Women and People With Vulvas
As in updating PDFs, new videos, slideshows- the whole sodding lot.
More in-depth exercises, more things to try, and easier to follow along and implement.
To help you have orgasmic experiences for life.
What You Get
This e-course is split into 6 easy to follow and easy to implement modules.
Each module consists of 1 or 2 teaching videos, a PDF workbook, and some contain bonus PDFs and audio practices.
6 Modules To Orgasmic Bliss:
Module 1: Why Masturbation?
Why is masturbation so important? What did you learn about it growing up? How do you feel about it now? Let’s explore your relationship with self-pleasuring.
Module 2: Becoming Orgasmic
Exploring what orgasms are, what being orgasmic is, living orgasmically, when you can’t orgasm, what blocks your orgasms, what enhances your orgasm.
Module 3: Your Orgasmic Toolkit
Now let’s get to maximising your pleasure! Here are the building blocks of orgasms, including: Kegels, breath, pelvic movements, and more.
Module 4: Your Vulva
Let’s get to know your vulvalicious vulva! From your pleasure anatomy, everthing about the clitoris, how to handle a vulva, and your erectile tissue- yes, we have erectile tissue too!
Module 5: Your Sexy Cycle
Introducing, your sexual response cycle- aka- how your body responds to desire, arousal, and pleasure. We get to know how yours works, unique to you, with a guided self-pleasuring exercise.
Module 6: Sex Toys, Vibes, and Lubes
Welcome to the wonderful world of toys! Debuking myths about vibrators- and why you don’t have to like one- and how to use glass or steel toys for internal play, plus what lubes work best to maximise your pleasure. Yum!
Want to play?
This high value content is yours to keep for life and is what I offer all my private clients. It is a result of many hours of training and client hours, with brilliant results to change how you relate to pleasure.
You get
8 Video Classes
6 Workbooks
2 Movement Practices
1 Audio Meditation
BONUS Video Masterclass
Working with me 1:1 will cost you upwards of £3k
Hit this link to purchase now for £147
Love
Lucy xox
Lucy Rowett, CSC – Pronouns: She/Her/Her