Forget Any Sex Advice You’ve Heard and Read This Instead
If you Google, “Sex Tips” or “Sex Advice”, you will find a hell of a lot. And you may find it overwhelming, especially if your relationship is going through a rocky patch or you’re feeling insecure about your sexuality.
There’s so much conflicting advice and information, and as a sex coach, I am always hesitant to offer generic “Sex Advice” without doing a full assessment of a client and getting to know what’s really going on.
It’s not about using ice cubes to give a better blow job, doing it in the bathroom, or trying out roleplay to spice things up, unless this sounds exciting to you.
There’s one piece of advice- or rather, one teaching- that kind of sums up everything I teach. And not only is it deceptively simple and incredibly complex at the same time, it’s also a no brainer.
In order to have epic sex and feel confident as a lover you need to…
It really is that simple AND infuriatingly difficult.
The best sex doesn’t happen by knowing fancy tricks, doing every position in the kama sutra, using fruit, or swirling your tongue.
Sure, it’s awesome to learn techniques to improve your skills because giving and receiving great sex is a skill to be learned.
But it will mean nothing and feel like nothing if the basics aren’t there in the first place.
Pleasure and enjoyment
If you don’t deeply enjoy sex you’re having, deeply love your body, and love what you are giving and receiving, sex is always going to feel… blah… to you.
Think about it: you want sex to feel good, otherwise you wouldn’t want be on this page. Your partner/s will want sex to feel good for you too, even if it feels like pressure sometimes.
To master any skill, passion and enjoyment must be there.
Does this sound like you?
- Sex is something you can take or leave.
- Sex is something you do just to keep your partner happy.
- Sex is something that scratches an itch but doesn’t feed your soul.
- You tend to feel slightly numb, spaced out, and disconnected to your body while you’re having sex.
- You feel like you’re performing and putting on a great show while watching yourself and feeling bored.
- Sex is something transactional that you use to receive love and approval rather than something that is an expression of who you are.
- You do doing things because you think you should and that’s what your partner likes rather than what you really, truly want.
If you ticked off 2 or more from this list, then it sounds like you’re not having sex you really enjoy.
It’s time to be brutally honest with yourself: Do you enjoy sex?
Do you know what you like? Do you know where your pleasure is? Have you released any lingering shame around sex, pleasure, desire, and your body?
You have to start there first. Start with pleasure and what feels good to you.
This is especially important if you have a history of trauma. Pleasure really is medicine, you will not heal by checking out of your body and overriding your own boundaries.
The most enjoyable oral sex, dry humping, striptease, massage or anything else will come when you truly ENJOY giving and receiving it.
If you’re reading this and thinking, “But I don’t know what I like!!”, then you’re in the right place. Working with me is the perfect way to find out exactly what you like and what you would like to explore.
Then check out my coaching program to find out if we’re the right fit for each other.
To your pleasure and a lifetime of enjoyable sex.